Naked TJ

Dilemma

2010-04-25T03:33:00.000-07:00

Near where I live it is very common for people to use children to help them beg for money.

Normally I'm one of the tall white saps that gets cornered. Today my vantage point has allowed me to observe the older woman prod the little girl to approach every foreign man who has walked by. On one hand it's shameless manipulation. On the other you'd have to be pretty cold not to care. What would you do?

Paradise?

2010-04-22T22:04:00.001-07:00

We decided, at the last minute, to take advantage of a week long school holiday and go to Phuket, Thailand (Stop snickering … the “H” is silent). I was looking through the resort pics over lunch today and realized there is a swim-up bar. This is going to be awesome! O yah, there is a pristine tropical beach complete with a reef for snorkeling.

http://www.lagunabeach-resort.com/index.html

So I'm getting ready for work this morning...

2010-04-18T17:47:00.001-07:00

So I'm getting ready for work this morning. I look over to where Michele and Luke are sleeping. Michele is asleep on her back and Luke is laying on his side facing me and Michele. He is wide awake and looking directly at me. I smile at him. He smiles back, puts his arm around Michele, and in a voice that is barely audible whispers, "She's mine."

Back home this happens when you have a pick-up truck.

2010-04-16T01:49:00.000-07:00

Yes, that a copier on the back of an electric scooter.

Happy Easter

2010-04-11T05:52:00.000-07:00

We took this outside the house Easter Morning.

The Chinese like to flash the peace sign in pictures. We thought it would be funny to get the boys to do it for this pic.

Expat Prom Night

2010-04-11T05:42:00.000-07:00

Saturday night was "Prom" for the expat community in Shenzhen. Michele and I had a great time. This is my favorite picture from the event.

Arm and Hatchet

2010-04-11T05:19:00.000-07:00

Wrong on so many levels

What happens when I'm not at home?

2010-04-06T03:38:00.001-07:00

Zack just said, "I love to eat spray butter."

Bruce Lee?

2010-04-04T19:59:00.000-07:00

Amusement Park Prices

2010-04-04T02:20:00.000-07:00

I paid like $1.25 for this can of Dew. It better be good.

Made in Chima

2010-04-03T03:00:00.000-07:00

Thanksgiving in China

2009-11-26T01:04:00.000-08:00

Dude, your littering is KILLER!

2009-11-12T01:18:00.000-08:00

NO training wheels!

2009-11-07T00:43:00.000-08:00

Break'in the law

2009-10-30T05:45:00.001-07:00

I love? mom

2009-10-23T09:52:00.001-07:00

Timothy made this for Michele at school.

Shredded Pork Donut

2009-10-20T06:07:00.000-07:00

Just for those that thought I was joking. This is a donut with shredded pork on it.

In the business books they call this "local customization". I call it not your father's Dunkin Donut.

Speaking of Lord of the Flies

2009-10-20T00:32:00.001-07:00

I was wrestling with the boys the other day. Luke jumped on my head ... with his head. It's almost been a week and my eye still looks like I was in a bar fight. I think it makes me look mean.

Smith Band of Brothers

2009-10-18T21:32:00.001-07:00

Michele and I came home from a date last week to spy the boys watching Phineas and Ferb on the iMac together.

Recently they have started sleeping in the same room together. It makes me EXTREEMLY happy to see them forming into a tight band of brothers.

This is no mistake. I credit Michele's leadership in our home to their closeness. She is very intentional about holding them accountable to a very high standard of love and care for one another. Sure they are good boys but without the energy she puts into them I'm certain the atmosphere in our home would descend into a Lord of the Flies free for all.

Boracay ... is fantastic

2009-10-04T04:21:00.000-07:00

We just returned from a remarkable family vacation to Boracay Philippines. Besides the scariest 30 minutes in an airplane I've ever experienced followed by an aborted landing in Manilla and a night spent in an airport the typhoons did not impact our vacation much.

While we were there we celebrated Luke's #2 birthday and Timothy's #7. Between snorkeling, ATV riding, hangin' at the beach, and spending time at the resort pool we had a fun filled and recharging time. Michele and I even had an opportunity to parasail.

The best of pictures are below...

We've arrived ... barely

2009-09-27T20:01:00.001-07:00

The Smith family is safe in Boracay. The trip was quite an odyssey considering the recent devastation in Manila due to the hurricane.

In short our airline (Cebu Pacific) tried to land us in the middle of a hurricane that is now said to be worse than Katrina only to abort at the last second and divert to another airport. Unaware of the situation we allowed them to return us to Manila that evening immediately after the airport closure had lifted. Once there we discovered there was no way to leave the airport. After spending the night sleeping on the floor. In the morning we made our flight to Boracay.

Glad we are finally here safe and sound. We'll post pictures as soon as the internet is restored...

Grand Opening

2009-09-24T23:00:00.001-07:00

What's with the funeral flowers?

I may never leave China

2009-09-10T21:55:00.001-07:00

There was a flash of light followed by the sound of angle voices and a Dunkin Donuts appeared where there once was a 711.

When the 711 moved out I was sad. There's a life lesson in there somewhere. (Totally kidding about not leaving China.)

R U kidding me?

2009-09-07T05:09:00.000-07:00

Irish B-ball isn't even this big in South Bend!

Poor timing for a pun

2009-09-07T03:38:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's a refrigerator on the back of a bike.

2009-09-06T18:34:00.000-07:00

They do this everyday ... right?

2009-08-30T06:53:00.000-07:00

At the end of the month we are going to Boracay (see post below). I did a little searching on-line for the airport, aircraft, and carrier we are using. The picture above is the actual flight landing at the airport near Boracay that we are booked to fly into. (No airport on the island, we have to take a boat from here. It's that kind of tropical paradise.)

I showed the picture to the family individually (keep in mind, no one heard the other's reaction). Here's what they said:

Zack - "That plane is going to crash"

Timothy - "That doesn't look safe, what if a truck comes"

Michele - "Don't ever show me that picture again if you want me to go."

Luke and I are the only ones that think that this looks pretty cool.

(Photo form Airliners.net. Taken by Spencer Wilmot ... Spencer, on the off chance that you ever read this, thanks for the great pic.)

Somebody got the Sling Box working

2009-08-28T17:56:00.000-07:00

Too bad it's stuck on the Disney Channel...

And yes, my wallpaper is a giant American flag.

Us in our "back yard"

2009-08-28T07:30:00.000-07:00

Boracay

2009-08-27T20:52:00.001-07:00

September 26 2009 the Smith family will be here, Boracay Island Philippines. September is going to be a long month.

Steve Taylor

2009-08-26T18:52:00.000-07:00

TJ found Steve Taylor on iTunes. TJ happy.

The mother of invention

2009-08-26T18:16:00.000-07:00

I see stuff like this everyday. Note one foot is on a clutch and the other a brake.

On one hand it's crazy. The road we are on is a main thoroughfare and it wouldn't be surprising to see this guy or one of the thousands just like him driving his powered tricycle the wrong way down the street.

On the other hand the creativity and determination is admirable.

The oldest parts of Shenzhen, the city where we live, are 25 years old. Very few people are from Shenzhen. Most are fresh off the farm coming to the big city in search of an opportunity to cash in and pull their families out of desperate poverty.

Watching all of this mix together and evolve is an education.

Mr Lee, Me and Deng XiaoPing

2009-08-07T08:46:00.001-07:00

This is me and our driver MR Lee. While Michele was in the US he and I took a Sunday and found this significant tree after a several hour long search.

Without being too verbose here is why it is significant..

In the late 80s and early 90s China was not in a very good economic position. One of it's leaders, Deng XiaoPing, had some pretty radical ideas about how to fix it. Many of his peer politicians did not dig his ideas but he was popular with the people. So in the spring of 1992 he took an opportunity to make a statement. He traveled throughout China promoting his ideas. While in Shenzhen, the city where we live, he planted this tree. As he finished he turned to the TV cameras and said, "To get rich is glorious." His literal and metaphoric statements were a green light heard round the world. Since then Shenzhen and China, as you know, have not stopped growing. Back then, Shenzhen was farm land and fishing villages across the bay from Hong Kong . ~15 years after it's a thriving metropolis commonly referred to as China's wealthiest city boasting over 14 million people! The tree I am standing in front of in this picture with MR Lee is generally thought of as the tipping point for Shenzhen and China's emergence as a world economic power.

Now I'm not endorsing Deng. I'm sure he and I have a very different and irreconcilable world view but the power of this seemingly minor event transfixes me. It shows me the power a leader has and how the right words said at the right time, even if they are simple, can alter the course of human history.

It is also informative. When you look at what is happening in China, remember that the catalyst, the thing about which all of it turns is wealth. As one of my non-Chinese co-workers told me during my first visit to China, "TJ, make no mistake about it. All this is all about money."

(All the historical data in this post is from Tim Clissold's book "Mr China". I highly recommend this book to anyone attempting to understand and learn about China. It is a easy and good read for anyone.)

You have been given a great gift George...

2009-08-06T06:43:00.000-07:00

My favorite movie is It's A Wonderful Life. I don't know what the catalyst was but I love the movie. I sat tonight watching my church's service on line and thinking about Michele and the boys. The words of Clarence echoed in my head, "You've been given a great gift George. A chance to see what the world would be like ..." without them...

For the past 5 weeks I've lived without Michele and the boys. A father of 3 without anyone for 5 weeks. At first it was fun. I got to sleep in. I got to go do fun things like hike on my "man vacations" but as it ends something has changed. Around week 3 it wasn't fun anymore. The endless flow of first run movies for $1 lost their appeal. I've become restless. I can't watch a movie for more than 5 minutes. Nothing makes me happy. I don't want to work, I don't want to relax. I just feel empty.

I got married at 24. I'm ashamed to admit I've often wondered what it would be like if I didn't get married. What if I stayed single and stayed free from all the responsibilities that I now have? I must admit that I've often wondered and thought I might like it more ... but I don't. This sucks. I feel like less of a man. I feel like I've lost my purpose. I don't want to work. I don't want to do anything. As I thought about this tonight I thought about what a gift this is. A gift to see what it would be like without them. If all four disappeared from the face of the earth. This is what it would be like. I hate it.

Of course I miss Michele in a way that a husband misses a wife after such a long time but it's so much more different than that. It's so much more different than I expected. I just want to see her. I just want to be in the same room. I want to come home and have her give me the look that says I'm late ... again.

I want to look forward to the kids going to bed so I can have some peace and quite. I want to read them stories and yell at them for screwing around in their room until 11:00 PM. The things I thought I'd never miss. The things I felt bad about are the things I want back.

But as my heart breaks I realize what a gift this is. A gift that they will be back on Saturday. That they will come through the doors at the airport , at least one of the boys will yell "daddy" and run into my arms. They will smile when they see me and throw their arms around my neck, I will feel the warmth of their skin on my neck. I will hear their voices. I will watch Timothy play WII and jump in place while he kills Darth Vadar ... again. Zack will play with his dinosaurs while making up stories and talking to himself. Luke will play with the trains he has forgotten about since going back home and scream at Michele for not anticipating his every need. I will come home to little boys who just want their father to wrestle with them for 15 minutes before dinner and bed time. I'll sit at the table and complain about something stupid at work while Michele does an excellent job pretending to understand my poor explanation and care all the while building me up and telling me how much she believes in me.

I've been given a great gift. A gift to see what my world would be like without them ... and I hate it. I'm so thankful for this experience but I'm so ready for it to end.

Everybody Does It

2009-08-06T01:02:00.001-07:00

I was looking at this map today while my lunch was in the microwave. I remembered a conversation several years ago with a friend that fancied himself more culturally aware then anyone else. He went on about how Americans are self centered and believe the world revolves around them. He sited evidence such as the country code of number "1" and that maps always have the US centered.

I remember walking away from the conversation feeling kind of bad. Then I actually started traveling the world and realized everyone thinks their country is the center of the planet.

Check out this fun fact: The Chinese for China is Zhong Guo (say chong gwo). The Chinese characters are中国. The literal translation ... "country in the middle of the world".

So next time someone tries to tell you that American's are a bunch of self centered jerks just smile and remember Zhong Guo.

Does anyone know what marital status "double" means?

2009-07-30T22:55:00.000-07:00

More hiking in Hong Kong

2009-07-29T06:28:00.001-07:00

Last weekend I headed back to Hong Kong for hiking and camping. After an exhausting walk through mountains and valleys in 90+ degree heat and 90% + RH I arrived at the campsite. I had every intention of camping for the night.

This campsite was in the middle of nowhere. It was one of those places where I knew I could scream at the top of my lungs and no one would hear. The only water was a small stream that flowed from the open pit toilet. The sun was just starting to set and my cloths were drenched in sweat. Nevertheless, I was determined to seize this opportunity.

I took off my shirt and dried it on a rock while I set up my tent and looked for fire wood. I was relishing the Man vs Wild feeling. To quote Will Ferrell I was doing "Manly things that men do". At the climax of my pride I looked up. A herd of cows was slowly walking into the campsite. Yes, a herd of cows on the mountain. I don't know how or why they are there but they were. They walked directly for me. I maintained my Bear Sterns persona and scanned the area for escape routes should these large beasts decide I was a threat and charge. A grove of closely spaced trees seemed to be my best bet. Yet, I stood fast.

They split down the middle. Half walked on my right and half on my left. The entire herd of ~8 passed within 10 feet of me. A heifer I would later call Elsy walked close enough to my tent to trip on the tie down ropes. About the time they passed two big black bulls came around the corner. Now I was seriously uncomfortable. Just as the herd had moments before they walked directly toward me. The one on the right seemed to careless. The one on the left seemed a bit more interested in me. About 20 feet from where I was standing he broke into a trot. I was ready to run (thinking he can run faster than me but I can turn quicker) but he continued on by. Within 10 feet. My heart was pounding. He got over to Elsy and seemed to be asking if she was ready for a good time. She shrugged him off and he went over to a thicket with the other bull 50-75 feet away. The rest of the herd continued further on while Elsy and, I assume, her calf stayed close by me. THey just stood there and staring like they wanted something.

It was dark now. I started my fire and cooked my can of beef stew feeling the irony of the moment.

I finished eating while watched the bats zip around. All the while I really wanted to know where the bulls were but in the dark they were invisible. I was still determined to camp. I slipped into my tent and realized how hot it was inside. I considered that between the heat and the fear of being killed by the bulls I wasn't going to sleep at all.

Besides, I was out of water and camping by yourself is boring. I hiked down the mountain in the dark, caught the subway to the border and went home.

Return of the Chicken Head

2009-07-28T23:13:00.000-07:00

Man Vacation Part 1

2009-07-23T05:48:00.000-07:00

Michele and the boys are in he US. They've been there for 2.5 weeks and plan to be there for 2.5 weeks more. Meanwhile I'm here alone in China. OK, so I have a maid and a driver so I'm not really alone but I do really miss the boys and Michele. I'm confident Michele misses me but I'm pretty sure the boys could careless. They seem pretty happy to be with their friends again :)

I'm filling the time by working, learning more Mandarin, and going on various adventures. Last week I bought a backpack and set out for a camping trip in Hong Kong. Yes, HK is 40% parks and trails. Very mountainous and beautiful.

My hike took me and my out of shape Tsingtao belly to the top of a mountain overlooking the western most parts of HK. It was terribly hot and humid. I was terrified of the bulls that roamed the path but none of them seemed too interested in me. Right as I got to the top a storm rolled in. The humidity dropped and a refreshing rain/mist filled the air as clouds enveloped the mountain and I. Couldn't see anything. I really felt alone and at the same time tremendous peace. Occasionally the wind would pickup and blow the clouds out and I could see forever. Then, just as quickly, the clouds would come back again. No special spiritual moment or voice of God. It was just cool. I had nothing to do but enjoy the spectacular show. I liked it.

Once I got to the bottom of the mountain I realized the storm was the beginning of the forecasted Typhoon. I decided it wasn't such a good idea to camp in the deluge and high winds scheduled to hit around midnight. I headed into the city (felt sorry for the people I sat next to on the subway. I was wet and stinky). I could have gone home but needed to be back in the city to pickup one of our VPs first thing in the morning.

I had read that the ChungKing Mansions were a very cheep and decently clean place to stay. After all I could take some risk. This is part one of my man vacation and after all I just need a shower before picking up the exec. The room cost about 20 USD. It was about as big as a closet with a closet bathroom inside but I will say it was clean (by China standards). The surroundings are a bit seedy. Certainly a good way to stay in the city on a budget. Anyway, it was part of the adventure...

Here are some pictures from the hike. I'm posting them mostly because I think I look cool in my new hat. I go back this weekend to conquer stage four of the MacLehose Trail.

Star Wars book

2009-06-19T03:51:00.000-07:00

Timothy has been making Star Wars books lately. Here's the cover of the latests. Darth Vader on the left and Yoda on the right.

WHAT would you do?

2009-06-15T00:12:00.000-07:00

Let's play "What would you do?" (Read like a cheesey TV game show host).

You are trying to leave this building through the door shown but it is locked. All the writting you see is in Chinese. There is no other way out.

Do you push the mysterious RED button or do you wait for someone else to enter or leave the building?

China Surprises 1

2009-06-10T00:56:00.001-07:00

We are not allowed to do anything here. I tried to move a box today and the receptionist told me I could not because, "You are boss." I smiled, flexed, pointed to my arm, and moved it anyway.

My driver won't even let me water my own lawn. You should have seen what happened when Michele tried to pull a weed.

Not complaining. Just saying.

IT'S NOT AN URBAN LEGEND! Escallators do eat shoes

2009-05-25T06:46:00.000-07:00

Today we were out looking for man sized washing machines. They are hard to find here. On our way out of the store we were coming down an escalator. Zack was wearing his rubber rain boots. We've told him 1000 times to keep his feet away from the sides. Maybe that's why he didn't.

Michele was in front of Zack. I was standing behind holding Luke. Timothy was behind me. I was just about to tell Zack to stop messing around when it caught his boot. You can imagine how quickly the loose fitting rubber on his boots was sucked into the gap between the stair and the stationary rail. I could do nothing as I held Luke except yell, "Hit the stop button!" (in English) at the to top my lungs. Michele turned around and started screaming hysterically while trying to pull his foot out while the escalator pulled it in tighter.

We were half way down. I locked eyes with a man at the bottom and shouted over and over to press the stop button hoping he would deduce from the panic what I wanted him to do. Miraculously he did. I am extremely thankful that he knew where the button was. (Just so you know all escalators have emergency stop buttons between the floor and where the rail returns back into the machine). With the machine stopped Michele pulled his foot out. We both fully expected to see massive blood and injuries. Zack was screaming. Our minds raced as we imagined the worst. I imagined that at this time of day it could be 30-45 minutes for the Chinese ambulance to arrive; hours before we could be in Hong Kong.

The boot had pulled tight enough around his foot to give him slight friction burns and a blister on his heal. No blood or broken bones. Michele sat on the floor surrounded by a crowd of astonished Chinese with a shoeless screaming child in her arms and cried. I stood there and shook from the adrenalin. Some guy who worked at the store (I guess the manager) kept asking me in English if I wanted hospital.

I suddenly realized I had set Luke down. He was quietly walking out of the store. By himself. Perhaps he wanted to disassociate himself from the mayhem.

We’ve prayed and thanked God more than once in the past several hours. Here are some pictures of the aftermath. We will no longer be wearing rubber boots or other Crock like shoes on escalators.

I’ve been saying, “It’s not an adventure if you have no chance of getting hurt.” I just didn’t think it would be like this.

Hong Kong Disney

2009-05-24T06:25:00.001-07:00

Last week we went to Hong Kong Disney in ... Hong Kong. We had a great time and even got to be in the parade. I guess something about the big American family said, "Put us on display." Weird. I've attempted to add the pictures below. The unfamiliar face in a few of the pictures is Jane. Jane is our Filipino helper. She speaks English well and some Chinese. The kids love her. She and Michele get along very well. She makes me fried rice all the time. I like Filipino fried rice. Life would be way more stressful without her around.

Otherwise everything is going pretty well. No more rabbits ... that we know about. We move from our apartment to a house with a yard in a few weeks.

May Day Picnic

2009-05-03T05:36:00.001-07:00

Some pictures from the Smith/Garrett May Day picnic. In some of the pictures you can see the attention our clan draws...

I got the Tooth Fairy's digits

2009-04-29T10:18:00.000-07:00

The other night Timothy started sobbing before bed. I mean really uncontrollably sobbing. My first thought was that he was missing his friends.

When I finally got him to calm down enough to tell me what was wrong he explained that his tooth was loose and that he was afraid he would swallow it in his sleep and would not be able to give it to the tooth fairy for $$. (Note this goes back to $$. See earlier Timothy posts concerning $$. Hummm, learning something about my son...)

I told him I had the tooth fairy's phone number and that I would call her and vouch that he swallowed his tooth and that he should still get some cash. He looked at me like, "How did you get the tooth fairy's phone number?" So I kept up the lie. I made up an elaborate story about how I caught the tooth fairy in my room trying to redeem a tooth when I was his age. She and I talked, developed a report, and I got her phone number. I further explained that I would give the number to him when he turned 18.

He bought it completely and went happily to sleep.

Yesterday I got a call at work. Timothy had indeed swallowed his tooth in his sleep and wanted me to call the tooth fairy immediately... I played along.

The "Tooth Fairy" left RMB 3.5 (approx 0.5 USD) under his pillow last night.

Not a Chicken

2009-04-27T04:58:00.000-07:00

Michele went to the store last week. She picked up what she thought was a chicken breast. You can imagine her reaction when she opened the package and found this...

We're pretty sure it's a rabbit.

Week one is in the history books

2009-04-11T06:13:00.000-07:00

We've been in China for one full week as of today. Since arriving we have moved into temporary housing, moved out of temporary housing, and moved into our "permanent" apartment. Some of the things we have experienced/learned:

For some reason it's hard to get groceries for more than a few days
When you check-out at a Chinese Walmart with a (mini) cart full of food people look at you funny
Walmart in China charges for bags
Everyone in China charges for bags
A family with 3 young boys causes people to literally stop in their tracks and stare. We have learned the words for "three boys" because we've heard it so many times we finally asked a friend what it meant
It is "normal" for people to touch your baby, photograph, or even try to pick him up...
It's good to have local friends when you move to a new country where you don't know your way around or the language. (Thanks Josh and Chana)
Any inconvenience caused by car seats is offset by the fact that they force your kids to sit in one spot while in the car
Cash ... Forget your debit or credit card. Even if you used it yesterday at the same store the cashier today may just refuse to take it
Exchange rate is RMB6.8 to 1USD. The largest RMB note is 100. That equals one large wad of cash in your pocket
When I'm tired and stressed I turn into a jerk (OK, more of a jerk than normal)
The work permit health screen includes a chest x-ray, ultrasound, teeth inspection, and urine sample among other things
Michele also had to get the health screen
The uncovered urine sample cups are collected on a communal tray in the hall of the hospital. Sometimes people spill their sample on the tray
There is no soap in the hospital restroom
There is a communal towel in the hospital restroom
Western branded stuff is expensive here. Everything else is about par with what we would spend at home. For example: bag of Lays potato chips ~$10USD. Bag of Chinese potato chips ~$2USD. We're eating Chinese potato chips.

This first week has been way more stress than I anticipated but everyone is coping well.

About this time last year I remember Michele and I talking about how content we were. Everything was just right at home. We liked our house, neighbours, friends, my job, each other... Now we've thrown all that into the air (Well ... we still like each other ... most of the time). No element of our lives feels stable, predictable, or the same as it was. Based on this some may call this adventure a big mistake. Why would we give all that up? Isn't stability and predictability the goal? But we're looking at it differently. Contentment is nice but it's hard to grow when we are content. When we are content we stagnate. In fact I think we atrophy. The concern becomes maintaining the status quo and you stop taking risks. You never see yourself from a different angle so you never get to see what's in the blind spots. That's not the life I want to live. That's not the legacy Michele and I want to leave our boys. So with those thoughts we take these next steps. I have no doubt that this is going to suck sometimes but I'm willing to take the risk because not to could be worse.

P.S. Just as I was about to click "post" the power in our apartment want out. Back on ... for now.

Goodbye 51570 Timberline Trace

2009-04-02T10:09:00.001-07:00

This afternoon I sit in my back yard for the last time. In 24 hours we'll be in the air on our way to China. This is the hard part. This is where we start leaving the stuff we have grown comfortable with. There are a lot of memories attached to this back yard.

I look at the retention wall I built just days after we got home from the hospital with a newborn Zack (Michele still isn't really happy about that...)

I look at the area next to the shed that was a pile of wood when we moved in. Like good ol' non-incorporated people we built a bond fire and cleaned that right up. Timothy was ~1. He sat in a saucer and watched.

I remember playing teeg ball with the neighbourhood kids.

Chasing the boys with the water house

Building an obscenely large sand box

Building snow men

Birthday parties with home made pinatas

Giant inflatable water slides

It is not going to be easy to leave today. At least we can always visit via Google maps :)

Jealousy

2009-03-30T20:02:00.000-07:00

A few months a ago I heard Dr Bob say, "Jealousy is despising the goodness of God in someone else’s life while denying it in yours." This thought has been reverberating in my skull since. Jealousy isn't simply a sin against another person. It is telling God that what He has given you is not good enough.

We did something a little crazy today...

2009-03-24T19:47:00.000-07:00

There is a vacant house at a busy intersection in our area (Fir and Cleveland for you local folks). It has been getting my attention lately because every time I drive by I noticed a sad spectacle of an American flag hanging on a flagpole in front of the house. It is torn into ribbons and clings to the pole by one eyelet. When the wind blows it collides with the overgrown tree next to it often becoming entangled.

In front of a vacant house in the barren Norther Indiana brownness of early spring it looks pitiful. It's demoralizing...

On more than one occasion I've driven by and thought about taking it down. I mean ... how many people drive by that thing every day? How many people with friends and family in the military? How many veterans? How many people facing tough economic times who wonder about the future of our great country? I start thinking about all that the flag is supposed to represent and the message that its persistent condition presented to everyone who saw it.

I pointed it out to Michele as we drove by today. On the way back from our trip we decided to take action. First I tried to pull it down via the loose end of the rope. The rope broke. I was about to give up. Even at 6'4" with the strong wind and height of the pole I had no hope of reaching it ... I looked at my Honda Pilot ... "I'm at a busy intersection. I'm going to look awful foolish standing on my car grasping at a demolished flag wagging windily in the strong wind."

Then I thought about the message that the crazy guy standing on his car might send to those who saw it. I thought about what this might communicate to the my boys as they watched. We pulled the truck onto the lawn, down wind and as close to the pole as possible. I climbed on the car. The wind picked up and forced the flag nearly horizontal and into the overgrown tree. Still out of reach. Michele found a stick and handed it to me. Wrapping the stick around the flag I pulled it too me. Once in my hands it snapped free of the rope.

I jumped off the car and handed the flag to Michele. As we got back in the car she folded the flag and explained to the boys what we had done. Timothy asked some questions. He might remember it someday. Zack likes flags. He was very excited to have a flag. Luke ... I would like to know what he was thinking.

China Whys

2009-03-20T13:00:00.000-07:00

So I was thinking, "What do I want to personally accomplish by going to China." What are my personal reasons for going? Here are my thoughts:

1) The obvious career advancement. Moving and working in China is going to have a BIG impact on my career. No telling where God will take it from here. I want to take steps that maximize the impact His calling on my life can have.

2) Perspective for my boys. "You are created for more than yourself" is the #1 message I want to get through to them as they mature into men. This experience will help them see just how unbelievably fortunate they are even among the fortunate. I want them to come away from this experience with the seeds that will help them grasp this. The resources placed into their hands via my position and influence come with responsibility. As this dawns on their growing intellect I want them to know what to do with it. Nothing is worse than a grown man who thinks his power, money, and influence are there solely to serve his selfish desires.

3) An opportunity to "go where His light is not seen, where His voice is heard small... (Sorry, Oral Roberts reference). I'm not a huge Charismatic fan these days but Michele and I believe God did speak to Oral when he founded ORU. The fruit of his ministry is apparent even if things did get off track (in my opinion). We are called to be salt and light (Matthew 5:13-16). We are not called to be safe. We are called to be brave (I stole that from someone. I don't know who). I'm not talking about standing on a street corner and verbally abusing people. I'm talking about being a non-douche bag Christian that doesn't wear his faith on his sleeve. Someone that is genuinely open and listens to others. That isn't looking to lead someone to Christ in a shaft of light and choir of angel voices. One that is OK with questions with no answers during non-scripted conversations where the Holy Spirit can work. I have no idea what that means or even how to do it but I think that maybe something God would like to teach me over the next few years. If I can learn how to make my life (actions) scream "YOU MATTER TO GOD" I'll be happy.

Timothy the financial genius

2009-03-19T13:00:00.000-07:00

I have NO idea where he is getting this but Timothy gave me some financial advice on buying a car today. He said, "Dad, if you are going to buy a car and you have $200 and you find a car that is $200 you shouldn't buy it. You should buy one that costs $100 so you can save." He went on to explain that the more money you save the more you have (while making a pile-up jester with his hand). WHAT?!?! I asked him who taught him this and he pointed to me... This sounds way more like Michele than me. Either way I am astounded. (see also"zero dollars" post below)

The Smith's are moving to China

2009-03-18T12:05:00.001-07:00

I think most of you know but the Smith's are moving to China. The house is being packed as I type and the flight is booked for all of us to leave April 3. If we haven't talked here are some of the questions I commonly get asked.

How long will you be there? 2 years
Are you selling your house? The house is on the market.
Where in China? Shenzhen, near HongKong (similar latitude/climate as S. Florida)
Do you know Chinese? No
Are you going to learn? Probably not
How will you communicate? I'll speak loudly and slowly using wild hand movements.
Really? No, the people I work with most directly know English.
Why? I had a career opportunity to lead a new initiative there.
What will you be doing exactly? Classified ... Let's talk and I'll give you the details.
Where will the kids go to school? There are several excellent international schools in the area. Timothy will finish out kindergarten here.
Where will you live? The southern region of Shenzhen (called Shekou). This area is made up of 85% foreigners like us who have moved to China for work.
What is the house like? We will live in a very nice (and secure) compound called Jingshan Villas. We will lose many of the comforts we are custom to such as a big back yard, direct access to the outside, and square footage. (future posts to include more detail about the house/apartment).

All of us are pretty excited about the adventure that this new chapter in our lives will afford. Looking back I can clearly see God's hand in the process of preparing us for this opportunity. While there will be challenges I am certain that whatever God has in-store will be even greater than anything we have "given up" to get here. We serve an awsome God who is worthy of our trust.

Zero Dollars

2009-03-17T14:39:00.000-07:00

Today Timothy asked me, "Dad what happens when you spend all your money and you have zero?" With the current government policy on such matters I know what I wanted to say. How would you have answered?

25 Random Notes from a Mother of Boys

2009-02-04T18:59:00.000-08:00

Michele wrote this for her MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group. I think it is awesome. I love her mother's heart.

1. Boys do not aim naturally
2. Boys will let you do anything for them
3. Boys like to pee outside
4. Boys are not girls
5. Boys want to please their mothers
6. Boys are harder to potty train, do it in the summer see # 3
7. You should never keep your house too clean in case your sons become missionaries in third world countries
8. Boys wrestle instead of hug
9. Teach your boys to hug
10. Boys love adventure
11. Make your life an adventure
12. Chivalry is taught
13. Learn to play video games
14. Learn to put a limit on video games see #13
15. Boys are visual…watch what they watch
16. Boys need you to be proud of them
17. Boys like jobs
18. Just because your son pops the doll’s head off at the sibling class at the hospital does not mean he is going to hurt the baby
19. You will be embarrassed at some point…this is normal
20. Biters are the low men on the totem pole
21 Boys love the hose…see # 3
22. Boys are resourceful …Boys will use hand towels if toilet paper is not available
23. Teach your boys to pray…
24. Teach yourself to pray for your boys :)
25. Boys are kind, gentle, sweet, and best of all they love their MOMS

Someone got glasses today

2009-01-26T10:42:00.001-08:00

Big Brother Training

2008-12-14T17:01:00.001-08:00

Michele and I uncovered this gem today while looking through our archive. We had a good laugh. (Timothy is wearing the green shirt in the front. Zack is wearing red in the back and sitting near the camera.)

Fortunately they have turned out to be exceptionally gentle with their baby brother.

Intentionality

2008-12-13T16:08:00.000-08:00

I heard something a week or so ago. It's been echoing in my head since so I'll repeat it here. "I've never seen someone drift into greatness." Dr R Mark Besson. Do with it as you wish.
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What's the point?

2008-12-13T11:55:00.000-08:00

As a Christian why do I want to see others become Christians? Is it a spiritual notch in my belt? "Now I've earned God's favor" Is it validation of my own belief? "Someone else believes. I must not be crazy." Am I trying to get someone else "into heaven" when they die?

The into heaven thing has bothered me lately. Why do we want to go to heaven? Why do we want others to go there? Is it simply the escape from the alternative or are we lured by the whole mansion and streets of gold thing? Isn't that a bit self centered especially from our American perspective? "I can't wait to leave this 2 car garage 2000+ Sq foot hole to live in Jesus' mansion."

I only bring it up because I hear Christians talk about how our mission is to "bring up there down here" And how it is not to take a bunch of people "up there". But as soon as we start talking about evangelism we start talking about getting people "into heaven" whatever our motivation. I'm confused.

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Scary

2008-12-08T10:31:00.000-08:00

Zack (4) came to me Sunday afternoon. He had been playing alone for sometime. He simply said, "Sometimes accidents happen dad." I still don't know why he said it. Part of me hopes I never do.
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Alternative Compulsion

2008-12-04T09:36:00.000-08:00

Copied and pasted from nytimes.com

“Our plan dramatically accelerates and expands the restructuring that we’ve been driving in North America for the past several years,” Mr. Wagoner said in prepared remarks. “It’s a blueprint for creating a new General Motors. ... One that is lean, profitable, self-sustaining and fully committed to product excellence and technology leadership, especially in alternative compulsion.”

I hope this was the NY Time’s error and not Mr. Wagoner’s.

TJ is here

2008-11-10T21:33:00.000-08:00

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Zack the lion

2008-10-31T15:34:00.000-07:00

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Sleeping Tiger Hidden Dragon

2008-10-31T15:31:00.000-07:00

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Timothy as Luke Skywalker

2008-10-31T15:29:00.000-07:00

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Naturalist?

2008-10-24T07:58:00.000-07:00

Zack made this flower arrangement the other day out of stuff he found in the yard. The picture doesn't do it justice. He's always collecting sticks, rocks, and flowers. Frankly I'm sick of finding that stuff in my house. This flower arrangement is an exception.
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Personal goal part 2

2008-10-12T12:05:00.000-07:00

When did this happen?!
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Does this really help?

2008-10-12T11:32:00.000-07:00

I hate it when people make signs like this. At least it's not scribbled out in marker.
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Revolutionary Parenting "Take Aways"

2008-10-10T18:05:00.000-07:00

I finished reading Revolutionary Parenting a week or so ago. Great book in my opinion. It's not a typical parent's how to manual. Barna does a good job (via research strangely enough) showing the common elements of households that produce kids that are champions for the Kingdom of God.

It's a foundation laying / principle based book. Here are my "take aways".

* As a parent it is my number one responsibility and priority to point my kids toward Christ and give them the tools, training, and resources they need to be the men God has called them to be.

* Like anything that matters it's hard work. It takes intentionallity. If it seems easy. If your coasting. If you are not leaning hard on God and asking for His guidance. Your probably screwing up.

* I am not my boys' friend. I have a loving relationship with them that demonstrates their value in my eyes but winning has nothing to do with them thinking I'm a great dad all the time.

* The buck stops with Michele and I. We will wait for no one to teach our boys anything they need to know. We supplement and support what we say with others but we are the front line.

* Demonstrate, model, and consistency

There's probably more but this is what is on the top of my mind right now.

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Newsweek Mobile - For Kids, No Escape From Porn Imagery

2008-10-08T16:56:00.000-07:00

I found this article at Newsweek on-line. It made me angry. Not because I think people are tyring to market sex to kids (I'm sure some are but most are just greedy and stupid). It made me angry because it is another example of our culture's seeming belief that we can live without consequences. Deep down we all know it's wrong but when we wake up the next day and there are no immediate consequences we take that as license. Instead it builds up over time. We wake up one morning wondering where it all went wrong. In short, we sow to the flesh and expect to reap life (Gal 6:8).

Someone told me today that my "calm and cool demeanor was unraveling". I agree, I'm tired of passivity. I'm tired of it at home with my wife and kids. I'm tired of it at work. I'm tired of saying it's OK because I lack the balls to deal with it. To take the chance of having an opinion.

Newsweek.com

tjsmith515@sbcglobal.net sent this to you from http://www.newsweek.com

For Kids, No Escape From Porn Imagery
Jessica Bennett
Updated: 10/08/2008

The idea for a book about porn culture came to Kevin Scott the day his daughter decided she absolutely had to have a Bratz-doll pony. For months, the 5-year-old had begged him for a Bratz doll-clad in spike heels, fishnets and miniskirt, enormous puppy-dog eyes protruding from her oversized head. Her sexy look seemed a little too sexy for a preschooler, so he and his wife bought her a different doll, which she was happy with. Except that a few months later, Bratz came out with Bratz Babyz. "If Bratz had looked like Barbie hookers, these looked like baby hookers," Scott says. Again, he convinced his daughter that My Little Pony was just as cool-and for a moment, the conversation ended. Until, of course, the Bratz came out with Bratz Ponyz. And then, says Scott, an English professor at a small college in Georgia, "I realized porn culture and I were in a death match for my daughter's soul."

In a market that sells high heels for babies and thongs for tweens, it doesn't take a genius to see that sex, if not porn, has invaded our lives. Whether we welcome it or not, television brings it into our living rooms and the Web brings it into our bedrooms. According to a 2007 study from the University of Alberta, as many as 90 percent of boys and 70 percent of girls aged 13 to 14 have accessed sexually explicit content at least once.

But it isn't just sex that Scott is worried about. He's more interested in how we, as a culture, often mimic the most raunchy, degrading parts of it-many of which, he says, come directly from pornography. In "The Porning of America" (Beacon), which he has written with colleague Carmine Sarracino, a professor of American literature, the duo argue that, through Bratz dolls and beyond, the influence of porn on mainstream culture is affecting our self perceptions and behavior-in everything from fashion to body image to how we conceptualize our sexuality.

It's too early to know exactly how kids who grow up in this hypersexualized environment will be affected in the long term. But Scott and his coauthor say it's not too soon-or too prudish-to sound the alarm, and to look critically at the sexualized culture we're exposed to every day. The authors don't suggest banishing porn to back alleys, however. Both grew up when people were crying out for sexual liberation. And, they contend, porn certainly played a role in achieving it. But somehow between then and now, porn themes have gone from adult entertainment to prime time, seeping into nearly every aspect of popular culture. Sarracino and Scott define "porning" as the way advertising and society in general have borrowed from the ideas and characteristics central to most American pornography: sex as commodity, sexuality as overt, narrow views of women and male-female relationships, bad girls and dirty boys, domination and submission.

All it takes is one look at MySpace photos of teens to see examples-if they aren't imitating porn they've actually seen, they're imitating the porn-inspired images and poses they've absorbed elsewhere. Latex, corsets and stripper heels, once the fashion of porn stars, have made their way into middle and high school. An ad for Axe shower gel, marketed to teen boys, uses the slogan "How Dirty Boys Get Clean," while Burton, the snowboard company, partnered with Playboy earlier this year on a new line of "Love" boards-complete with voluptuous cheeks smack dab in the middle of each. The boards' online description reads: "I enjoy laps through the park; long, hard grinds on my meaty Park Edges followed by a good, hot waxing." One of the most popular kids' videogames, Guitar Hero, features animated rock stars that stand on a stage with a neon stripper gyrating on a pole behind them. Strippers have become cool-unremarkable even.

Celebrities, too, have become amateur porn stars. They show up in sex tapes (Colin Farrell, Kim Kardashian), hire porn producers to shoot their videos (Britney Spears) or produce porn outright (Snoop Dogg). Actual porn stars and call girls, meanwhile, have become celebs. Ron Jeremy regularly takes cameos in movies and on TV, while adult star Jenna Jameson is a best-selling author.

In July, a Florida defense attorney argued in an obscenity trial that porn had become so commonplace-evidenced by the fact that a Google search for "orgy" is twice as common as one for "apple pie"-that his client, a porn-site operator charged with racketeering and prostitution, could not be considered as behaving outside the societal norm. (The obscenity charges were dropped, though the defendant was found guilty of money laundering.) "All you have to do is live here on a daily basis, and you pick this stuff up through every medium," says Sarracino, who teaches at Pennsylvania's Elizabethtown College. "But it's been so absorbed that it has almost ceased to exist as something separate from the culture."

The prevalence or porn leaves today's children with a lot of conflicting ideas and misconceptions, says Lyn Mikel Brown, the coauthor of "Packaging Girlhood," about marketers' influence on teen girls. "All this sex gives a misinformed notion of what it means to be grown-up." Studies show that kids who consume this kind of sex in the media inherit more traditional views of gender-boys as dominant, girls as submissive, in the bedroom and beyond. (In a survey of 244 high-school students earlier this year, researchers at the University of Michigan found that those who frequently viewed talk shows and prime-time programs with sexualized content endorsed sexual stereotypes more strongly.) Kids are less likely to know when and how to express themselves sexually-or what behavior crosses the border into sexual harassment. As part of their research, the authors of "Porning" talked to middle-school teachers who told stories of girls sending half-nude pictures to classmates they'd barely met, then strutting around in classrooms in provocative clothing to reveal what's underneath.

The authors of "So Sexy So Soon" (Ballantine), which came out last month, believe that part of the problem for children is that they lack the emotional sophistication to understand the images they see. Last year, the American Psychological Association put out a compelling report that described the sexualization of young girls: a process that entails being stripped of all value except the sexual use to which they might be put. Once they subscribe to that belief, say some psychologists, those girls begin to self-objectify-with consequences ranging from cognitive problems to depression and eating disorders. "It's not as if we get our ideas straight from porn about what a kiss should be or what sex should be," says Sharon Lamb, a psychologist at Saint Michael's College in Burlington, Vt., and a coauthor of the APA report. "But you do see imitation of sex that was once found only in porn. It's a kind of education to kids about what sex is like before they have a real education of it."

That education involves seeing thousands of explicit sexual images by the time a person reaches his teenage years. Experts say that exposure can make real-life sex a letdown for men driven by porn-style fantasies. In porn culture, women are overwhelmingly viewed as sexually rapacious or as victims of verbal, physical or sexual violence. And young girls, not knowing any different, may play straight into the watered-down mainstream versions of those roles. Today, terms like slut and whore are commonplace among teens. And whether it's porn or a combination of influences, anonymous, no-strings-attached-style casual sex, now commonly called "hookup" culture, has come to be one of the defining characteristics of a whole generation of teens. (That culture is the subject of a number of publications, including this year's "Hooking Up," by sociologist Kathleen Bogle.)

It's the porn ideal of sex as commodity in a competitive market-and to see rapper Nelly swipe a credit card through a young girl's backside in a music video only reaffirms that notion. It's artificiality as a replacement for authenticity, the Miley Cyrus-type plasticity that's become the mainstream, prepubescent sexual ideal. (Not only has Cyrus been photographed wrapped in a sheet looking like she just had sex-she claims she was manipulated by the photographer-but revealing photos of her, taken by herself and friends, have also emerged online.) "Both boys and girls are really confused about what's appropriate," says Brown. Helping kids make that distinction may be an increasingly uphill battle.

(c) 2008 Newsweek, Inc.

Long-time personal goal accomplished!

2008-10-06T20:00:00.000-07:00

I have now met the weight goal I set during my freshman year at ORU. I now weight over 180lbs. Of course in school I intended that gain to be pure muscle. Not so much.

Someone is going to get guitar lessons

2008-09-18T17:32:00.000-07:00

Michele is at a MOPS event tonight. After she left we collected some play instruments, turned the music way up, and ROCKED OUT!

I was besides myself at how well Timothy fits the guitar player persona. He's the most introverted little boy I know. Turn up the music and give him a guitar and this happens. (I'm very dissipointed that I did not get a picture when he stopped to "tune".)

Several years ago while writing my "daddy manafesto" (see "3 Simple Messages" post) I wrote:

You are created for more than yourself
Clarifying Statement:
The vision for my children is NOT to “have it better than I did”. I want my boys to experience the fullness of meeting the purpose of God regardless of what station in life results. My greatest responsibility as their father is to position them to meet that purpose. Our adventure will be discovering and developing that purpose together.

"I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my spokesman to the world." Jeremiah 1:5

How do I communicate/promote this?
· Pray it in front of them.
· Tell them over and over.
· Encourage them to discover and develop the passions God has placed in their hearts.
· Develop a not to do list with them. (Avoid activities that do not develop this God given charter.)
· Discuss my search with them. (How did dad navigate this obstacle course?)
· Serve others

I feel like I got a blinding glimps of God's programming of Timothy James Smith II this evening. Let's see where this goes.

2 problems

2008-09-10T20:46:00.000-07:00

I'm really liking my new phone but it gives off enough electromagnetic radiation to make anything with an amplifier and speaker go nuts. It became really obvious when I checked on Luke while he slept the other night. As I walked by the noise maker (rain sounds etc) it made a loud unpleasant noise. Of course this woke up Luke. So that's problem 1. Problem 2 ... This phone lives in my pocket. Probably good we're good done having kids.

What I learned today

2008-09-10T16:44:00.000-07:00

There are consultants that get paid to find other consultants. They call them SAP.

It's the How

2008-08-30T19:01:00.000-07:00

George Barna writes in Revolutionary Parenting, "Character matters more than achievements". It's the how not the what. Something good for the boys. Something good for me.

TJ's kindergarten memories

2008-08-25T19:15:00.001-07:00

Here are some of my kindergarten memories. In no particular order:

First day - Crying my eyes out.
Show and tell - I had a smurf bank. I was the nerdy kid who loved the smurfs. My parents told me not to take it because I might break it. I took it anyways. Wouldn't you know I dropped my book bag and broke the smurf. I cried, AGAIN.
Spider book - I don't know what my friends and I did but it must have been bad. We were given the choice of a swat or standing in the corner during recess while holding a book on our head. I chose the corner and the book. I always got the book with the big spider on it. I hated holding that book on my head.
Matthew Mitchel's glasses - Matt got glasses. I remember him explaining to us all how to properly set them on his desk so that they did not get broken or scratched.
Nap time - WHY didn't I like nap time? WHY!?!?!
Legos - One of the kids made a Lego Dukes of Hazard car. I thought it was cool. It was orange.
Mrs. Loony - Taking a dare to call her "Mrs. Loony Bird" in front of the class. The silence that followed. O wait that was first grade...

Timothy's First Day of Kindergarten

2008-08-25T19:07:00.000-07:00

Timothy started kindergarten last week. He's a bit too aloof to admit that he likes it but he did confide in Michele that he and daddy now have the same "days off".

The leaf blower picture has nothing to do with school but who doesn't like a good picture of a kid using a leaf blower for the first time? Check out the gaggle of kids in our hood. I love watching our kids make memories. Life is good.

No more "uncle silly pants"

2008-08-20T20:10:00.000-07:00

This is my brother (on the left). In a few weeks he is going to Iraq. On one hand I'm happy for him. He loves what he is doing and is passionate about it. We've all been praying for a while that he would find something he was passionate about. On the other I'm nervous.

A few weekends ago he had his last leave before being deployed. We had a big picnic with all the family. It was a beautiful day. Between keeping track of the kids and catching up with family I lost track of time and the end came up quickly. Before I knew it I was standing next to the car saying goodbye and the sudden realization of the importance of the moment was upon me. We hugged. Just like in a movie it started to rain. He started to cry. I cannot remember hugging him that long in the past. I didn't know what to say.

After a few moments we broke the hug and I asked him if he was scared. Michele had been watching from the car. With glassy eyes she opened the driver side door from the passenger side and suggested that I pray for him. That's one reason why I love Michele. What a perfect suggestion. We hugged again and I started to pray. In my heart I wished I had prepared something profound and spiritual to say. I had nothing. I simply prayed that God would send him the kind of peace I experienced during my stressful presentation a few weeks ago, that he would remember his training when under fire, and that God would send him friends that helped him make good decisions.

Several years ago he used to wear "girl jeans". Timothy, then 3, saw him and out of no where called him "uncle silly pants". We all got a good laugh out of it. I'm glad to say that the girl jean phase is over not just in how he dresses but in who he is. Steven now has great responsibility upon him. I'm proud to observe him shoulder it well.

Play on Playa

2008-08-14T19:28:00.000-07:00

Caught this on the way to Ohio this past weekend.

Grace

2008-08-10T20:50:00.001-07:00

God is faithful. His grace extreme. As I age I come to realize what grace really means. It's complete unmerited favor. I've known the definition since I was a child but to actually understand and live like it ??!! Good or bad. I cannot convince God to be on my side. I cannot disappoint him so much that he forsakes me. He sees me how I am. He sees His plan for me and that's it. All I must do to make it a reality is walk in it.

My type A tendencies make me likely to try and earn His favor. Almost like God's grace, His unmerited favor, can be earned if I do the right things. If things go well I must have done the right things. If things go poorly, I must have done something bad. What a sad view of God. Isn't it part of his awesomeness that He does what He does in spite of us. Job is one of the best books of the Bible.

God has really shown up the past few weeks. For example, I gave a presentation that I was really nervous about to a potentially disagreeable audience of highly influential people across our corporate parent. I prayed for peace and that God would prepare the hearts of the listeners. The presentation went extremely well, everyone was (outwardly) accepting, and I have NEVER been as calm during a presentation (and I present a lot). My God is a good God even though He doesn't have to be.

Pray

2008-07-20T20:09:00.000-07:00

I mentioned it a few posts before but God has placed some work related stuff in front of me that is way big (at least in my perspective). I know that they are opportunities from Him but there is this feeling inside that says, "Am I really ready for this?" "Shouldn't someone else be doing this?"

I'm preparing as best I know but trusting the results to His hands. Maybe I'm right where He wants me because if I experience success there is no way I can claim it came from me. :) I'm praying that He shows up. That His will is done. Please pray with me that He fills my mouth with words. That I feel his peace and presence when I speak. That pride does not well-up in my heart. Pray that the hearts of those I will speak to are softened and primed by the Holy Spirit.

Take

2008-07-14T18:31:00.000-07:00

My pastor reminded me of something this weekend. As Christians we tend to ask God into our lives forgetting that He has called us to abandon our lives for Him.

It can sound like this, "God please bless what I am doing." It should sound like this, "I want desperately to be in your will. Show me where I have arrogantly relied on my own power and help me to be obedient to your direction despite what it may cost. There is nothing better then being where you want me to be. Help me not to settle for anything less then your perfect plan."

The hymn written by Frances R Havergal sums it up. The words ring in my ears.

Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.
Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.
Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

I'm not really a hymn type of guy but this one is pretty powerful. What if I could actually live it?

Campapalooza Pics

2008-07-14T18:27:00.000-07:00

Sorry it took so long. Here they are.

More good times and friends this summer. I think we're vacationed out.

This weekend

2008-07-07T20:09:00.000-07:00

Coming off a great weekend with friends. We met the Fabers for Faber-Smith Campapalooza 08 in southern Illinois this weekend. We experience an interesting slice of Americana. I need to load the pictures. The boys had fun and we got to see a "crash-up derby" at the Fayette County fair. After the stress of a 5 hour car trip with a crying baby and general managing our kids in a new environment we had a whisper fight in our tent on Saturday night. At the time it wasn't funny. Thinking back it's really funny. Imagine an intense fight where you and your mate scream whisper because you are in a tent at 12AM and don't want to awake the entire camp ground. Michele won, of course :)

Luke Samuel Smith

2008-07-02T17:55:00.000-07:00

Found this the other day. If your easily grossed out by 12lb 9oz babies coming out of c-sections you may not want to watch. Listen to the doctor right at the beginning of the video.

Be Still

2008-06-30T18:39:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day. Things are going well at work. God's grace is allowing me to enjoy new responsibilities and challenges. It's easy to look forward at these challenges, make a plan, and run head down toward the goal. Over the past several years God has used the following story to provide context to success. I'll write about it here. It is as much for me as it is for you.

2 Sam 10:6-14 is a powerful image of David’s army under Joab’s command fighting yet being still in knowing that victory is ultimately rewarded according to God’s will. In 2 Sam 10:12 Joab says, "Be strong and let us fight bravely for our people and the cities of our God. The Lord will do what is good in his sight."

Joab’s and his men’s lives are on the line yet the scripture conveys Joab’s peace about God’s will in the situation. Joab didn’t sit down in the dust and literally wait on God to do something. He used the skills God had given him to plan and put the plan into action However, in his doing he did not loose sight of God’s ultimate superiority and wisdom. Moreover, he didn’t assume that God was on his side simply because he was Joab, a Hebrew, or because he fought for David’s kingdom.

Lord, keep me from the arrogance that forgets you and relies on myself. Teach me to be still. Do what is good in your sight.

Martin Pond 08

2008-06-24T19:03:00.000-07:00

We spent last weekend with some good friends. No agenda but hanging out. It was fun. Life is better with such friends.

R.I.P.

2008-06-19T09:46:00.000-07:00

I ran over a chipmunk on the way to work this morning. Little critter just ran out in front of me. In the rearview mirror I could see his flattened body. R.I.P little guy...

3 Simple Messages

2008-06-19T00:00:00.000-07:00

On 11/20/06 I had sometime alone. Timothy and Zack were in bed and Luke was just a gleam in my eye. I'm sure Michele was at Target or something.

As a new father I had been struggling with the question of how to raise the boys to be the men they needed to be. One minor problem was that I had no idea where to begin. I knew that success never occurs by accident. Planning and effort are always required. One thing for certain, if I didn't have a clear goal and plan I was doomed to fail.

I had recently read a book by Andy Stanley called 7 Habits of Effective Ministry. In the book Andy writes about distilling complex things into their lowest common denominator. Especially with kids. Don't try to teach everything. Find the big points and hammer on them over and over. It occurred to me that I need 3 Simple Messages. I sat down with my computer and started typing.

There are very few times in my life that I've truly felt the presence of God. This was one of those nights. It was one of those times when everything is clear. My mind was racing but clear and peacefully at the same time.

The following three simple messages came out.

You are created for more then yourself

Seek wisdom and accountability

I love your mother

Justin

2008-06-18T05:11:00.000-07:00

Besides Michele Justin is my closest friend. We have intentionally given one another permission to challenge the other as directly as necessary. In many ways our personalities are completely opposite. This is good because the difference in perspective and approach brings out the best in both of us.

We try to meet three times a week in the morning. Due to vacations and work schedules this morning was the first time we met in over two weeks. We had just a few minutes to synch. During our conversation I noticed 2 things:

1) I need this type of contact in my life. It lifts me. It keeps me focused and accountable with what matters most. It reminds me that there are thousands of other fathers and husbands trying to be the best they can too. It keeps me focused and moving forward. After a period of routine I can take our meetings for granted.

2) God has been speaking the same thing to both of us. As we strive to be better fathers and husbands it's easy to do too much, to look for shortcuts, and neglect the hard disciplines necessary to build our relationships with our wives. Our relationships with our wives are the most important and the hardest to get right of all our human relationships. Because we have proximity to our wives it's easy to treat them with contempt asking them to settle for second place, second best, and leftovers. There is no shortcut to a good marriage. Stop the noise, be still, listen, and invest.

Private Steven Smith

2008-06-10T09:28:00.000-07:00

My brother Steven (21) is officially in the Army. He graduated basic last month and has been stationed in Alaska for training in a "Stryker" unit.

He was informed almost immediately after arriving in Alaska this morning that he will be in Afghanistan by Aug/Sept. He will most likely doing what you see above. Jumping out of the back of a Stryker to shoot at bad guys. I'm proud of Steven. He's becoming the man we always knew he was. We continue to pray for his safety.

Last Words

2008-06-09T09:56:00.000-07:00

From tombstone in the cemetery next to the Old Stone Church.

"Died Sept 2 1885 her last words were repeating by heart the XXIII Psalm"

Moses Testified to Me

2008-06-07T11:28:00.000-07:00

Michele and I try to read the Bible together every night before we go to bed. (Lately we haven't done so well. ) Right now we are reading through John. The other week we came across the following verse during our reading:

John 5:46 - If you believed Moses, you would believe me, for he wrote about me.

I glossed right over it and finished reading. As usual we prayed and started to fall asleep. Just as I was drifting off I heard Michele repeat this verse out loud. When I woke up in the morning I suddenly understood what Jesus was trying to say (like my brain had been working it out all night). Jesus wasn't referring to some cryptic prophesy about the Messiah buried in the Torah (like I had always assumed). He was telling these people that he carried the fulfillment of all Moses had written about. The fulfillment of all they had studied and celebrated. The serpent on the pole, the Exodus from Egypt, Jacob and Esau ... it all points to Him and in Him it's all brought together. We cannot really understand who Jesus was and what he was trying to do until we understand what Moses wrote about.

The funny thing about it is that we were reading in John because I felt bad about spending so much time in the OT.

In Lewisburg WVa

2008-06-07T10:09:00.000-07:00

We're in Lewisburg WVa this weekend for Emily's wedding (Michele's roomate from ORU). The church building was built in 1796. It has remained in continuose use since then. There is also cemetary next door. The light was nice and I was feeling artsy so I took some pictures.

Attention Dads

2008-06-02T13:41:00.001-07:00

Michele and I have recently come to know a family who lost a father/husband about three years ago. There are two children ~8 and 5 years old.

Out of the blue this weekend the 8 year old girl started talking to Michele about her dad. I was moved by one particular thing she chose to share; the memory of her dad carrying her on his back "like a pony". When this little girl thinks of her dad this is what she remembers. Who knows how often he did this. Maybe it was once or maybe it was 1000 times.

He was taken suddenly and unexpectedly from his family. Dads, if we disappear from our kids lives today what will they remember? Choose your legacy. WHAT YOU DO TODAY MATTERS. Especially the "little" things.

Question...

2008-06-02T08:56:00.001-07:00

How do you know you've officially transitioned into full on parenthood?

When you take a picture of yourself on the beach with a graham cracker hanging out of your mouth. I love this picture. It tells a story.

GRS

2008-05-23T20:53:00.000-07:00

On Thursday I wondered into our VP of R+D's office to ask a question about 4th order Linkwitz Riley filters. In 20 minutes I received an undergrad degree worth of information. He effortlessly covered the history, design, marketing, use, and purpose of such filters. I walked out of his office with some info (and a headache). More than that I was amazed at his breadth of knowledge.

The Caterpiller

2008-05-20T19:34:00.000-07:00

I took a lap around the building last Friday afternoon to collect my thoughts. It was a warm early spring day. As I walked alone I noticed a caterpillar attempting to cross the parking lot. It occurred to me that the 25 foot journey across the hot afternoon black top from its present location to the lush greenness of an overgrown rain water retention area was long and dangerous for the caterpillar. I continued walking and thought about it. If the caterpillar could make it to the insect paradise of the retention area he would become a butterfly and live a long and happy butterfly life. Something compelled me to stop. It seemed too tragic to believe that the possibility contained in the ugly caterpillar could be wasted when I could easily help it. I went back and found it about three inches from where I saw it last. Feeling a little foolish I glanced around to make sure no one was coming. I didn’t want to have to explain what I was about to do. I thought of the security cameras and how strange my behavior would appear. Bending down I tried to pick it up. It wanted nothing to do with me. It struggled and squirmed. I could almost hear it scream, “I have this under control, get away from me!” The little thing was so intent on getting away from me that I thought twice about helping it. “OK fine! Die on the black top you stupid thing!” Then I thought, “With the energy it has expended trying to get away from me there is no way it is going to make it now.” I made one last attempt. Success at last. Being careful not to crush it I carried it over to the grass and set it free.

I continued my lap wondering how often others, including God, with greater perspective have tried to help me. How violently did I squirm and insist that I had everything under control?

Vacation Part 3

2008-05-09T13:27:00.000-07:00

OK, Luke is taking a mega long nap. Yes, I just checked and he is breathing. Fortunately for you I had time to get the beach pictures uploaded too.

Grandparent note: You can click on and purchase prints of these and many other photos that I have uploaded.